Below the thin crust of socialization that calcified upon my being as a result of a public school education, the true me exists. He is a shit. He gets tourette's-like urges to shout or do the most absurd things in situations. The socialization is enough to filter the more exotic urges.
Have you ever watched the reaction of drivers who have been subjected to a rude gesture in critique of their driving skill? If you could harness the energy of the indignation of these drivers, you could power a golf cart and two electric pencil sharpeners. Even better is when a person sees a middle finger intended for another and interprets it as directed towards them. Do not ask whom the finger flicks off, for it flicks you off. The description of their expression can only be fully appreciated by a sophisticated analysis usually reserved for the contemplation of fine wines. Subtle notes of anger that linger below a robust suggestion of confusion.
As I walk the streets, I have the urge to make rude gestures to completely inoffensive people. I wear a suit. Everyone trusts people in suits. I wouldn't be readily ignored like the poor soul who lives on a couch in the empty lot down the street. He's a homeless person. If he is upset with someone and expresses himself with explicatives. People automatically assume it is a problem with him not them. Yet, if some respectable element of our society (i.e. suit-wearer) expresses indignation towards a person's seemingly inoffensive behaviour, their initial reaction will be to take inventory of themselves in order to identify some offence. Don't get me wrong. They will quickly come to the correct solution that the suit-wearer is indeed the jackass he is. This also gives me an amount of pleasure, because this person will secretly relish the recounting of their effrontery for which they were a victim. It would be a justification that the fault of their discontent lay not with themselves but the fact the respectable suit wearing men are plaguing the city with completely inappropriate gestures and shouts of 'fucking idiot!'. And really isn't that what we all want. Someone else to blame.
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