Postmen (mailman) are truly a benign force in the universe. I still get excited when I receive a hand-addressed letter, and there is a simple pleasure to packing and addressing a care package for someone. Stamps are nifty. Postcodes are clever. The global mail system that allows next day delivery is astounding, and postmen are nice people doing a nice thing for society. This is why it is inexplicable that I always have the urge to shout nonsensical abuse towards them. Especially from a speeding car as they walk their route. Zoom. Honk. Honk. “I’ll get you one day. Batman!” Well, it is not entirely inexplicable as the response from the postman is always humorous.
Postmen know they are good people. They aren’t like policemen for whom a certain segment of the population have rather negative opinions of their peacekeeping activities. Even criminals love getting mail. Since they are securely smug about their position as ‘one of the good guys’ they are ill equipped for abuse. Policemen expect a hassle or two and they know how to react when it is encountered. Posties1 can’t handle it. Their reaction is an inevitable look of confusion followed by an exaggerate frown. Imagining that poor postman’s description as he relates the story to his fellow workers after their shift makes me giggle.
“You won’t believe what happened today.” He’ll surely tell the story a few times about the strange man who yelled at him that day. Truthfully, I am doing them a service. It’s like an inoculation. It’s a small amount of abuse that will make them less susceptible to harsher forms of abuse they might be exposed to, and for this altruistic act I get a little chuckle and a pinch of evil joy.
1) ‘Postie’ is a great term of abuse, but make sure you spit it through clenched teeth and a sneer as if their occupation was grave robbing.
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aaaagghh! and this reminds me of something i forgot to do. i sought weeks for satisfactory xmas cards. i wrote you for your address for the 70th time. i bought overseas stamps in denominations sufficient for sending greeting cards. and then, most cleverly, i forgot to mail you the card. assuming i don't forget again, i hope you don't mind your xmas cards in march. hope your holidays were good, and that you are doing well.
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