For the past two and a half weeks I have played host to a young (15years old) cousin of mine. I am an only child and it was great having a little brother for awhile. The best part was the telekinesis I developed. I would will something with my mind and it would happen. I would say things like ‘Can you hand me that phone?’ and the phone would magically appear in my hands. My house never had such clean dishes. They would fly into the dishwasher on my slightest whim. Having the little human around also made me aware of a few facts about myself. Firstly, I cuss way too much. I have the mouth of a trucker in heavy traffic and am not fit to be around children until I can master the expression ‘darnit’, ‘shucks’ and ‘poo’ as the automatic reaction to unfavourable situations. Also, I was a bad kid. I thought I was a relatively well behaved kid, but I had to keep telling him ‘but don’t you do that’ and ‘please forget that I said that it is illegal and not nice’.
I also learned how entertaining death metal madlibs is. This is a game you can play with any p2p program like soulseek or www.pandora.com. What you do is get a medical dictionary or think of a gruesome word. Type it the word or phrase in the search field. Some black metal artist will have already thought of an entertaining title containing that. I can only hope that it was with some irony that the song ‘consume the rancid gore’ was penned. Every permutation of gross out title has been thought of.
P.S. I forgot to say this but I wasn’t particularly excited about my birthday (now two and a half weeks ago), but all the little messages and emails people sent made me so. Thanks one and all. That will teach me to be such a grump.